DESIGNER OF NAMELESS SPORTS CAR LAMENTS: “THERE AREN’T ANY GOOD SNAKE NAMES LEFT”

Rudy Oop spent years designing and building his sporty kit car.  All it needs now is a name.  “I really wanted to name it after a snake because it looks slithery, if that’s a word,” said Oop.  But the part-time car designer and full-time canine Brazilian waxer is having difficulty coming up with something suitable.

Rudy Oop’s “slithery” sports car

“The good snake names, Cobra and Viper, are already taken,” Oop said dejectedly.  “I’ve been over Wikipedia’s snake list a million times.  Fer-de-Lance isn’t bad, but it sounds too much like a bicycle race.”

Oop’s kit, which goes on sale this fall, features an exquisite polyvinyl chloride (PVC) body shell and interior fabrics made from organic prairie oatmeal.  The parts are designed to easily bolt onto any late model Hyster forklift chassis.  “It’s a sweet ride, and it’ll turn on a dime,” Oop assured us.

“All the work is done; we just need a name,” said Oop.  “We begin marketing the car in a few weeks.  If we can’t think of anything by then we’ll have to go with Boomslang,” he said, his voice cracking.