Updated on January 20, 2017
Ignition Keys Are Going Away — Now What the Hell Are We Supposed to Pick Our Ears With?
With more and more automakers favoring keyless push-button ignitions, picking your ear with a car key may soon become a sensual pleasure of the past.
Sure, ear, nose and throat doctors will celebrate the disappearance of the car key, but they seem to have no qualms about shoving a plastic funnel-shaped scope with a fiber-optic light on the end so far down your ear canal it leaves scrape marks on your tongue. Plus, picking your ear with a key just feels so damned good.
Parksplug’s Internal Branding Strategist Tuba Nortingale tries out the ’85 Cimarron key for the first time
So, we recommend you search now for your favorite ear-picking key before they’re gone forever, and make a couple dozen duplicates. Hell, pass them out to your friends while you’re at it.
For the record, our favorite is the trunk key of the 1985 Cadillac Cimarron. Given the sublime level of bliss this key induces when inserted into your ear, it’s a wonder it’s not illegal. If you don’t believe us, feel free to stop by the Parksplug offices and try out ours.
