Posted on February 8, 2017
Parties Vow to Fight Judge’s Ruling in Adopt-A-Highway Custody Case
A judge presiding over a contentious and closely-watched Adopt-A-Highway custody case handed down his verdict today, to the dissatisfaction of both litigants.
Eelie McFeely stands on her side of the roadway while Chaz McFeely picks up trash on his side. A restraining order forbids each party to cross the center line.
Chaz and Eeelie McFeely, who divorced last September, had both sought full custody over the three-mile stretch of Route 114 just north of the town of Linus Hat, however, judge Cleotus Pasternak ruled that the couple must split the highway 50-50.
“Ms. McFeely is the legal adopter of the westbound lanes of the highway, and Mr. McFeely will have full custody of the eastbound side. Each will have full rights to the yellow stripe on their side of the roadway, but nothing past the inside edge of said stripe,” explained court clerk Babs Ann Yorkleton.
“My side of the road gets tons more litter, including those big rig recap chunks,” Eelie McFeely complained to the judge, while Chaz McFeely claimed that “her road sign has a taller post than mine.” He also accused his ex-wife of tossing trash onto his side of the road. She countered that he urinated on her signpost.
