New Car Smell Causes Baldness, Researcher Claims

It’s one of the pleasures of purchasing a new vehicle — that glorious new car smell.  

“That’s why I bought a new car,” said Kitten Pubguffer, the owner of a new Ford Escape.  “I almost bought a used car, but once I sat down inside the Escape, it was all over.  If only I had known,” said the melancholy and now completely bald-headed Pubguffer.  

“I can’t tell you how many bald people have told me that same sad story,” said Dr. Argo Bindloss, Director of Aroma Research at the University of LaFleck. “That new car smells great, but is it worth losing your hair for?” asked Bindloss, who has been studying the phenomenon for five years, although he does admit to taking time off for meals, sleeping and bathroom breaks.  

Pubguffer’s hair loss happened quickly.  “It was falling out on the way home from the damned dealership,” she said bitterly while scratching a peeling itchy spot on the top of her scalp.    

Dr. Bindloss said the risk can be lowered by wearing a shower cap while driving and spraying the vehicle’s interior twice a week with a mixture of Listerine and Roundup.