Updated on September 23, 2016
VW’s GOFUNDME SITE NOT DRAWING DONATIONS
Just days after news broke of the Volkswagen diesel emissions test scandal, the automaker quietly set up its own GoFundMe crowdfunding page to help it pay EPA fines that could reach $18-billion.
“This is a difficult time, but we are blessed to still have customers who believe in Volkswagen,” said spokesman Kuhlbert Schnipps. But most of those customers don’t seem to be opening their wallets to help the automaker pay millions of dollars in fines.
According to VW’s GoFundMe site, they’re blessed to have exactly two donating customers, Howard “Howdy” Mussel and his wife Canola. Ardent Volkswagen fans, the Mussels have donated $143, leaving VW with an unfunded amount of $17,999,999,857.
Howdy Mussel gropes his wife Canola in front of their 1973 VW Squareback, which burned last year. Putz, their pet game hen, sits atop the car. He’s dead, too.
“We bought a brand new VW Squareback in ’73 and drove it until it was consumed by fire last year,” said Howdy. “We loved it, particularly before the fire.” The couple, who no longer drive, buried the Squareback’s remains in their Agapanthus garden alongside Putz, their late, beloved Rock Cornish Game Hen.
RELATED NEWS: WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO VW CEO MARTIN WINTERKORN?
Forced to resign a year ago, we asked the former VW boss what he was up to. He told Parksplug “lesson Sie much an, du Idiot,” whatever that means (it doesn’t sound nice). However, we do know that he rejoined the family singing group The Winterkorns, whose hit Mond über dem Biergarten (Moon Over the Beer Garden) hit #5 on Germany’s Wilhelmboard Top 100 back in 1981.
