Parksplug

Dodge Claims Demon Too Fast For Paint

The upcoming 840-horsepower Dodge Demon will go without paint for at least the first year of production, the automaker reports. “It’s just too fast for the paint,” said Dodge spokesman Victor (pronounced “Veek-tor”) Lechee.  During acceleration testing, the paint blew right… Read More

Next-Gen Wrangler Much More Aerodynamic, Spy Photo Shows

A new Parksplug spy photo shows that Jeep engineers working on the 2018 Wrangler are committed to improving the rather dismal aerodynamics of the current model.   “Today’s Wrangler shares a coefficient of drag (Cd) with a Lady Footlocker store,” said Lucky… Read More

Buck-Toothed Race Driver Unable to Remove Fireproof Suit

A driver who won a 250-mile stock car race yesterday was unable to remove his jumpsuit following the competition due to his severe buck teeth, said track officials. Emergency responders attempted to help 28-year old Skeeter Burlinger by pulling… Read More

Mercedes Says If You Want a C-Class, You Also Have to Buy a Metris

Sales of Mercedes-Benz’s C-Class sedan are on fire, but that’s not the case with the automaker’s new-to-America compact Metris van.   To alleviate the growing glut of vans occupying dealership lots, Mercedes has commanded that beginning Monday, customers buying… Read More

Ford Extends Raptor Package to Heavy-Duty Trucks

Ford announced today that the Raptor off-road package will be available on its large heavy-duty truck models, including the F-750 dump truck shown. “It’s quite practical,” Ford Truck spokesman Fidel Philport said of the F-750 Raptor.  “Not only… Read More

Lock Maker Unveils Line of “Nutless” Wheels

Master Locks, a maker of padlocks and security devices dating back to 1050 BC, announced today the company is expanding its product line to include a stylish new automotive wheel.   “Master’s new Nutless wheel requires no lugnuts and features… Read More

If Non-Drivers Wrote Vehicle Owner’s Manuals:

If Mini Coopers Keep Growing at the Current Rate: