Category: Uncategorized
Posted on April 15, 2017
Sinkholes Have Gotten a Lot Pickier About Which Cars They’ll Swallow, Notes Geologist
Sinkholes have become much more choosy and won’t swallow up just any vehicle anymore, said Egret Funston, a professor of geology at the University of Lanky Mound. “We first noticed it with the sinkhole at the National Corvette… Read More
Posted on April 15, 2017
The Town of Bumf**k Actually Does Exist, Says Man Who Spent Years Searching For It
Mott Strool has spent nearly half his life searching for the fabled town of Bumf**k. Last week, he found it. “I always heard people say stuff like, ‘My friend lives way the hell out in Bumf**k, Egypt’,” explained Strool…. Read More
Updated on April 13, 2017
Ford to Convert All Its Cars to SUVs
Faced with dwindling sales of its car models, including the formerly hot-selling Fusion and Focus, Ford today announced it will convert its entire U.S. lineup of cars to trucks, SUVs and crossovers. “Nobody wants cars anymore,” said Ford spokesperson… Read More
Updated on April 14, 2017
Tonka Unveils New Line of Cat Box Trucks and Bulldozers
Tonka’s iconic yellow dump trucks, bulldozers and cranes have been hard at work in backyards and sandboxes since the 1950’s. But what are kids to do when it rains or snows? No problem, says the legendary toymaker, as… Read More
Updated on April 13, 2017
Dept. of Energy Denounces VW’s Plan to Store Recalled Cars at Yucca Mountain
U.S. Department of Energy officials are speaking out against Volkswagen’s recently-announced plan to store several hundred thousand recalled diesel vehicles inside Nevada’s idle Yucca Mountain nuclear waste repository. “We still hope to store thousands of tons of spent fuel… Read More
Updated on April 12, 2017
After Paying Millions For Name, Samsung’s Galaxy SUV Goes Up In Flames
Weeks before Samsung was scheduled to release the Galaxy, its battery-powered SUV designed for the North American market, it appears the electronics giant has scuttled the project after dozens of test vehicles caught fire. In addition to the… Read More
Posted on April 11, 2017
Chevy is Bringing Back the El Camino — We Have the Proof!
If you’ve been wanting a car-based pickup — something other than that rusted-out $700 VW Rabbit Pickup advertised on Craigslist — we have good news: Chevrolet is bringing back the El Camino! The white and silver vehicles below were captured… Read More
Posted on April 10, 2017
Is the Honda Crosstour Replacing the DeLorean in New “Back to the Future” Movie?
Yes. “The director wanted something newer and the Crosstour is the only vehicle all the props would fit on,” said longtime Hollywood columnist Sid Sperber. And yes, we know Sid’s statement is grammatically incorrect. You tell him. … Read More
Posted on April 10, 2017
Acura Celebrating After Somebody Bought One of Their Cars Last Week
Acura sales are in the dumpster. In fact, they fell more than 21% last month alone. But the way Acura is celebrating, you’d never know it. “We sold a car! We sold a car!” shouted Acura spokesman… Read More
Posted on April 8, 2017
New Car Smell Causes Baldness, Researcher Claims
It’s one of the pleasures of purchasing a new vehicle — that glorious new car smell. “That’s why I bought a new car,” said Kitten Pubguffer, the owner of a new Ford Escape. “I almost bought a used… Read More
