Category: Uncategorized
Updated on September 1, 2016
First look: 2018 Porsche Panera!
SAME CAR, MORE BREAD 2018 Porsche Panera (not to be confused with the Panamera), shown here in optional Asiago Cheese Focaccia finish. Standard finishes include Ciabatta, Whole Grain and Tomato Basil. Vehicles include your choice of side: Fresh… Read More
Updated on May 25, 2021
DESPERATE FOR SALES, VOLKSWAGEN TO OFFER BUYERS SEXUAL INCENTIVES
It’s been a tough road lately for Volkswagen. After losing $1.83 billion during the third quarter last year — equivalent to about 408,364,500,000,000 Mongolian Tugriks–the beleaguered German automaker is now offering sexual incentives to buyers. But according to VW spokesperson Giddie… Read More
Updated on August 30, 2016
From Bad to Worse: Ryan Lochte Rescued After Amphicar Sinks
It’s been a bad few weeks for U.S. Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte. First, over-chlorinated water in a Brazilian swimming pool bleached all the brown out of his hair. Then, Brazilian authorities announced they will likely charge him with felony… Read More
Posted on August 19, 2016
Ford to Combine Mustang and Focus Into One Model; We Have the First Look at the 2018 Ford Mucus!
In an effort to shrink its vehicle lineup, Ford will merge the Mustang with its smaller brethren, the Focus. The result will be the 2018 Ford Mucus. “There are just too damn many vehicles,” explained Argo Feedler, Ford’s… Read More
Updated on August 1, 2016
DRUNK GUY WELDS OLD RAMBLER MARLIN ROOF ONTO PORSCHE PANAMERA; NO ONE NOTICES
Updated on July 30, 2016
ELECTRIC CAR OWNERS OFFERED THREE GRADES OF ELECTRICITY
Photograph for illustrative purposes only. Do not attempt to insert an electrical plug into the photo. Oil companies have been providing motorists with a choice of three grades of gasoline for years, and soon, drivers of electric cars will… Read More
Updated on July 29, 2016
Mercedes-Benz Massaging Seat Charged With Lewd Conduct
After a three-month long investigation, misdemeanor lewd conduct charges have been filed against the “hot stone” massaging seats offered as an option on the Mercedes-Benz S-Class sedan. “These car seats have been providing much more than just a simple, legal massage,” said District… Read More
Updated on July 29, 2016
PARKSPLUG TRACKS DOWN ORIGINAL MUSTANG MODEL
50 years ago, Dichondra Moot would have no way of knowing she was posing with what would become one of America’s iconic automobiles. But there she was, standing on the beach next to a 1966 Ford Mustang convertible. “I… Read More
Updated on July 27, 2016
THOUSANDS OF NEW VOLVOS RECALLED AFTER ERROR BY ASSEMBLY LINE WORKER WITH LISP
“HE WROTE IT THE WAY HE PRONOUNCES IT,” MANAGER SAYS OF EMPLOYEE IN CHARGE OF INSTALLING LETTERING AND EMBLEMS The manager of a Volvo assembly plant says a worker with a lisp who applied incorrect name labels for… Read More
