Category: Uncategorized
Updated on July 27, 2016
WOMAN SITS ON PHONE BOOKS, SOMEHOW MEMORIZES ALL THE LISTINGS
Honeysuckle Loper, 26, sits on two Corvallis, Oregon phone books A small-statured South Cheeseborough woman who sits on telephone books while driving her Chevy Tahoe has miraculously memorized all the listings in the two thick directories. “I’m short… Read More
Updated on July 25, 2016
CRASH VICTIM’S ADVICE: USE CAUTION WHEN BUYING A USED DRIVER TRAINING CAR
COMBINATION OF PASSENGER SIDE BRAKE PEDAL AND WIFE’S RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME “WAS A DISASTER,” HE SAYS Searching craigslist, Knurl McFaskett of Doughboy Springs happened across a discussion forum for atheist discount coupon traders. But that wasn’t what he… Read More
Posted on July 23, 2016
Jaguar Halts Car Sales to Homely People
Jaguar announced today the company will cease all vehicle sales to unattractive people. “We work so hard to ensure that our vehicles are sensuously designed — works of art, if you will,” said Jaguar design director Magnus Toohey,… Read More
Updated on November 29, 2021
HEALTH-CONCIOUS VANDALS TURNING TO SUGAR ALTERNATIVES FOR GAS TANKS
Recent medical research indicates that more and more (and perhaps more) Americans are trying to eat a healthier diet. Increasingly, people are choosing lean dishes such as chickpeas and poached tofu, and cutting back on fatty processed meats… Read More
Updated on July 2, 2016
Inventor Shows Off His Innovative Vaseline Engine
“It’s the most exciting breakthrough we’ve seen since, hmmmm…let me think….geez, I don’t know , but it’s been quite a while.” Wiley Van Hooydonk, Head of Articulation of the Engine Engineers’ League (EEL) Barada Nikto pumps Vaseline into his… Read More
Updated on June 26, 2016
Ask Parksplug: Should I Fill My Tires With Nitrogen?
Dear Parksplug: I’ve ordered new tires for my Oldsmobile Firenza GT from a big box store. I will also get a roasted chicken while I’m there. The tire salesman said they would fill my tires with nitrogen instead… Read More
Posted on June 23, 2016
Coming Soon: FreeRange Rovers
Land Rover-Range Rover announced today they will add a FreeRange Rover model to the 2017 lineup. According to spokesman Titus Bone, the free-range designation requires that vehicles be parked outside at least 80% of the time. “We’ve already started redesigning our dealerships,” he… Read More
Updated on June 21, 2016
WHAT’S NEW IN TRUCK GRILLES, YOU ASK?
Chevrolet and Toyota this week sent us photographs of their upcoming new truck grille designs, one accompanied by a hyperbolic press release reading, “An exciting new era of innovative and captivating frontal design begins now!” Well, that was Chevrolet’s… Read More
Posted on June 18, 2016
Long Diesel Engine Dipsticks a Challenge For Short-Armed Owners
A coalition of short-armed truck owners is demanding that manufacturers of diesel engines find a solution to what they complain are overly long oil dipsticks. “Yes, I have short arms,” acknowledged 37-year old Cleo Wenceslaus, the owner of a Duramax-powered Chevy… Read More
Updated on June 14, 2016
FIRST LOOK! FIAT HELLGNAT CAUGHT ON CAMERA!
Fiat Chrysler has been mum about the prospect of a much-rumored new Fiat Abarth model equipped with the automaker’s new not-quite-high-performance HellGnat supercharged 1.4 liter engine. 2017 Fiat Abarth HellGnat wrapped in camo and parked against a swirly wall at… Read More
