Category: Uncategorized
Posted on March 22, 2016
“Check Engine” Dashboard Warning to be Replaced With Buzzer and “HOLY #@%&#!!!” Light
Recent research conducted by someone recently showed that 75% of drivers ignore a glowing CHECK ENGINE dashboard warning, a conclusion that has prompted automakers to add a loud buzzer and change the warning message to HOLY #@%&#!!! “We wanted to get people’s attention,” explained… Read More
Updated on March 11, 2016
Weather Service: This Jerk is Actually Responsible for California Rain, Not El Niño
Many Californians are blaming the El Niño weather pattern for torrential rains that have drenched the Golden State and caused flooding and hundreds of millions of traffic accidents. But according to a new report from the National Weather Service,… Read More
Posted on March 9, 2016
Hyundai Misunderstood NFL Contract, Wants Out
Less than a year after Hyundai became the official sponsor of the NFL, the South Korean automaker says it made a mistake and wants out of the contract. Hyundai officials tell Parksplug they thought NFL was an abbreviation… Read More
Posted on March 8, 2016
Chevron’s New Gasoline Containing Testosterone: Can it Treat Vehicles With Directile Dysfunction?
It’s estimated that nearly 30% of older vehicles suffer from some sort of directile dysfunction, which can result in a loss of stability, engine strength and worst of all, driveshaft failures. But Chevron claims its new gasoline containing testosterone — called Hi-Test… Read More
Updated on March 8, 2016
Breaking News! Volt More Aerodynamic Going Backward; Front is the New Back, Says Chevy
Chevrolet today declared that the Volt plug-in hybrid is more aerodynamic traveling in reverse, and in a shocking disclosure, announced that what was previously the back of the car will now be the front, and vice-versa. “We were… Read More
Posted on March 5, 2016
Astronaut Who Returned to Earth Nearly Two Feet Taller Thankful For Neighbor’s Pickup Truck
Astronaut Scott Kelly, who gained nearly two-feet in height during his 340-days aboard the International Space Station, told reporters yesterday that he would have been “stuck at home” for several days after his return to Earth if not for… Read More
Updated on March 4, 2016
Southwest Airlines DC-3 Inaugurates Regular Service Between the U.S. and Cuba
Cuba’s roads are teeming with American cars from the 40’s and 50’s, so when the first Southwest Airlines DC-3 landed in Cuba yesterday, it was no surprise that many of the 12 passengers were there to see the cars…. Read More
Posted on March 3, 2016
Toyota to Install V-6 in Prius in Attempt to Boost Sales by Lowering Fuel Mileage
Toyota announced today that it will replace the 1.8 liter four-cylinder engine in its Prius hybrid hatchback with the corporate 3.5 liter six in an attempt to increase sales by significantly lowering the car’s fuel economy. “Gas is so cheap… Read More
Updated on March 1, 2016
Apple CEO Locks Himself Out of Car; Police Refuse to Help Open It
Local police told Apple CEO Tim Cook they were unable to help after he locked himself out of his BMW outside an upscale lacto-vegetarian restaurant on Sunday. “We just had a lovely dinner of blanched chickpeas over semi-dwarf Sherpa rice,… Read More
Updated on March 1, 2016
U.S. Navy Jets Drop Takata Airbags on ISIS
U.S. military jets have targeted ISIS for several years, but recently, Navy F/A-18s have begun dropping a much more lethal type of ordnance: discarded Takata airbags. “There’s something like 50-million recalled Takata airbags,” said Pentagon spokesman Crispin Rigmarole. “They’re not… Read More
