Category: Uncategorized
Posted on February 2, 2016
This is the Most Confusing Interview We’ve Ever Conducted
Last week, Parksplug editor Sookie Hackman sat down with Mercedes-Benz Director of Marketing Gerd Keesecker. It should be noted that spellcheck kept changing Keesecker to Cheesecake, so we just left it that way. Hackman: Herr Cheesecake, we’ve driven the AMG GT… Read More
Posted on February 2, 2016
“Self-Driving Cars Will Put Me Out of Business,” Says Anger Management Therapist
A local anger management therapist is claiming that autonomous vehicles will put her and her colleagues out of business. Parksplug reporter Junior Squitts interviewed Dr. Pamelor Rupert at her office yesterday. Squitts: You claim driverless cars will put you… Read More
Posted on January 29, 2016
EXCLUSIVE! Parksplug Goes Rock Crawling in a New Hydrogen Wrangler
Jeep turns us loose with an experimental hydrogen fuel cell Wrangler Pros: Great torque and fuel economy; very quiet Cons: No heat shields; Needs skid plates underneath hydrogen tank; Soft top melts quickly when exposed to flame Verdict: A… Read More
Posted on January 28, 2016
Aquarium Employee in Hot Water After Using Electric Eel to Jumpstart Jeep
A Malador Bay aquarium employee said he was just trying to get home after a long shift when he used one of the facility’s electric eels to jumpstart his Jeep. But now he might find himself out of a job…. Read More
Posted on January 27, 2016
New CourtiZone Stores to Combine AutoZone With Traffic Court
AutoZone is remodeling dozens of their auto supply stores nationwide to incorporate a small courtroom where drivers can go before a judge to take care of traffic tickets. The new stores will be called CourtiZone, and company spokesman Skeet… Read More
Updated on January 27, 2016
Country Music Rots Your Car Seats, Claims Upholstery Expert
“Don’t play loud country music while you drive; it’ll rot your seats!” That’s the message upholstery expert Topper Wang is trying to send to as many vehicle owners as he can. “People come into my shop in tears… Read More
Posted on January 21, 2016
Lincoln’s New Plan Allows Buyers to Automatically Deduct Payments From Social Security Checks
Lincoln has announced a new program that will allow buyers of new vehicles to have their monthly payments automatically deducted from their Social Security checks, according to the automaker. “We believe this will be a tremendous convenience for… Read More
Posted on January 19, 2016
Cuckoo Seems Out of Place on Bentley’s $160K Dashboard Clock
Don’t get us wrong; we love the optional $160,000 Breitling clock nestling mid-dashboard on Bentley’s Bentayga SUV. (You read that right, $160-grand for a clock; that’s on top of the Bentayga’s $229,100 base price.) Our chief complaint with this… Read More
Posted on January 15, 2016
War of Words Ensues After E. Coli’s Cantina Opens Out Near the Interstate
Chipotle Grill Spokesperson Complains, “Their Stealing Our Business Model!” Thanks to the recent opening of a new E. Coli’s Cantina location, motorists passing through town on the interstate now have another dining option in addition to Subway, Subway, Gerd’s Fermented… Read More
Updated on July 29, 2020
Detroit Auto Show Shocker! Aztek To Be Resurrected as a GMC!
Tens of fans of the Pontiac Aztek, which was produced from 2001 to 2005, are cheering today, after General Motors unveiled an updated version of the abominable crossover at Detroit’s North American Auto Show. According to Peabo Yax, GM’s Communications Bwana,… Read More
