Category: Uncategorized
Updated on November 5, 2015
CAN PAUL RYAN FIX VOLKSWAGEN?
Rep. Paul Ryan All along, Paul Ryan, the new speaker of the House of Representatives, insisted he didn’t want the job. Nor, he says, does he want to be responsible for fixing Volkswagen. But it appears that’s exactly… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
HOT DOG ACTIVISTS RAM WIENERMOBILE THROUGH HEALTH AGENCY’S DOORS
No one was injured this morning when what is believed to be a group of hot dog activists crashed a stolen Oscar Mayer Wienermobile through the doors of the World Health Organization in Geneva, Switzerland, narrowly missing a Little… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
COMPLAINTS ROLL IN ABOUT NEW HIGHWAY PATROL TICKETING POLICY AFTER CAR HAULING TRUCKER RECEIVES FIVE SPEEDING TICKETS
“THE TRUCK AND THE FOUR SUVs IT WAS HAULING WERE ALL GOING 74 MPH.” Highway Patrol Officer Dickie Mermaster Local truckers honked air horns and illegally used their exhaust brakes yesterday to protest a new Highway Patrol policy… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
NO ONE ALLOWED TO ATTEND 2015 SEMA SHOW
ATTENDANCE RULES TIGHTENED FOR POPULAR TRADE SHOW Just days away from the much-anticipated opening of the 2015 SEMA trade show in Las Vegas, organizers have announced that no one will be allowed to attend. “The show has always… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
BRING A DUMPSTER
NEW SITE FEATURES AMAZING BARGAINS ON LUMPS OF WORTHLESS AUTOMOTIVE DETRITUS Whether you’re searching for rusted chunks of a derelict and insignificant vehicle or looking hither and yon for a decaying hulk at a reasonable price, your options… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
MAJOR VEHICLE SMUGGLING TUNNEL DISCOVERED ON US-MEXICO BORDER
AUTHORITIES SAY AS MANY AS FOUR NISSAN NV200’S MAY HAVE GOTTEN THROUGH A 1,814-mile brick lined tunnel that authorities said “reflects the restless energy and extraordinary grandeur of the bygone eras of smuggling,” was discovered yesterday after the… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
TOO MANY PEOPLE STOPPING ALONG HIGHWAY TO READ ELECTRONIC SIGNS, SAYS HIGHWAY PATROL
The highway patrol said today it will start cracking up–or rather, down–on motorists who stop on the side of the roadway to look at electronic warning signs. “It’s dangerous and I just don’t know what the attraction… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
FORD RECALLS FUSION TO FIX SELF-PARKING SOFTWARE GLITCH
Ford announced today that it will recall an undetermined number of Fusion sedans, the automaker’s hottest-selling vehicle. Other than the F-150. Oh, and also the Focus. A 2014 Fusion passes an available parking space. The owner said… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
JD POWER: “AUTOMATED MANUAL” BEST OXYMORON SINCE “DODGE RAM”
The automated manual, an complex but highly efficient transmission, was awarded the coveted “Best Oxymoron” award from marketing research and information firm J.D. Power at a raucous ceremony last night at the Red Roof Inn in Calabasas, California…. Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
OLD BEETLE NEVER DID FLOAT — VOLKSWAGEN LIED TO US ABOUT THAT, TOO
Volkswagen officials admitted today that early Volkswagen Beetles never could float as claimed in a series of 1960’s television commercials. “On behalf of our company, ja, I would like to offer yet another sincere apology, this time for claiming that… Read More
