Category: Uncategorized
Updated on November 5, 2015
VOLKSWAGEN NEWS: WINTERKORN RESIGNS; MEDIA OVERUSES THE WORD “EMBATTLED”; VW UNVEILS A NEW LOGO
A renowned linguistics expert claimed that today’s resignation of Volkswagen CEO Martin Winterkorn led to such extensive overuse of the word “embattled” by the automotive press that it had to be taken out of service for a few… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
DAIMLER BOSS DIETER ZETSCHE SHOCKS FRANKFURT AUTO SHOW CROWD
“THE MOUSTACHE IS A FAKE!” Dieter Zetsche, the Chairman of Daimler and head of Mercedes-Benz, stunned a crowd of automotive reporters at the Frankfurt International Auto Show yesterday by unexpectedly revealing that his trademark walrus moustache is… Read More
Updated on July 7, 2016
AIR FORCE AUGMENTS BUDGET BY AIR DROPPING WEALTHY PEOPLE AT VACATION DESTINATIONS
A respected Major General today told members of a Congressional hearing that the Air Force should be allowed to continue air dropping wealthy individuals and their families over their second homes and ritzy vacation villas. The practice, which… Read More
Updated on May 19, 2017
FIRST LOOK AT THE BUG-ATTI!
BugAtti IS A REALITY — WE HAVE PROOF! Despite Volkswagen Group’s denials, rumors about the existence of a smaller, less-expensive Bugatti called the BugAtti stubbornly keep popping up across the auto blogsophere. Recently, while visiting Hardshell, West… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
FIRST AUTONOMOUS SCHOOL BUS PULLED FROM SERVICE AFTER CHILDREN DROPPED OFF AT STRIP CLUB
Thirty kindergartners who thought they were going to an indoor play center were instead dropped off at what a school district official called a “gentleman’s club” yesterday morning. The five-year-olds were aboard an experimental self-driving school bus–the only one… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
DMV ACCUSED OF DEPLETING WORKFORCE OF CRANKY WORKERS
Running a small business and retaining good employees is difficult enough, but some retailers say the Department of Motor Vehicles is hiring away their most cantankerous workers. Donde Nivels, who owns a small hardware store specializing in… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
PARKSPLUG’S NEW PRODUCT SHOWROOM
MotorMucil New MotorMucil, with natural sillyum fiber, prevents fuel system blockages and keeps things flowing smoothly. The manufacturer also claims regular use can help prevent Irritable Fuel Syndrome. Available wherever engine laxatives are sold. The Star Sprinkler Can’t… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
RESTORATION JOB ON ONE-MILLIONTH CORVETTE “UNACCEPTABLE”, SAYS MUSEUM
After more than 18 months, repairs have finally been completed on the one-millionth Corvette that was damaged after being swallowed by quicksand inside the National Corvette Museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky. But rather than jubilation, the unveiling of the… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
CHEVROLET CHANGES NAME OF ITS SUBCOMPACT SPARK, ADDS MOWER ATTACHMENT
CHEVY HOPES NAME CHANGE TO SPECK WILL DIFFERENTIATE IT FROM LARGER SONIC Chevrolet Speck with mower attachment Chevrolet, who has been encountering significant buyer confusion between its two small cars, the Spark and the Sonic, have decided to change… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
HYENA EATS HYUNDAI SONATA HEADREST AT DRIVE-THROUGH WILD ANIMAL PARK
A 90-pound hyena named “Bub” ate a headrest off a late-model Hyundai yesterday at a drive-through habitat for retired hyenas. “This is exactly why we always tell folks to keep their windows closed,” said Maynard Phlegming, the manager of… Read More
