Category: Uncategorized
Updated on November 5, 2015
SECRET WITNESS HURT IN FALL AFTER TESTIFYING ABOUT AIRBAG DEFECTS
A secret witness testifies before Congress about the massive airbag recall A classified witness wearing a disguise was injured yesterday when he fell down the steps of the U.S. Capitol building. Police say the anonymous person had just… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
HEADLINES OFF THE PARKSPLUG WIRES
SELF-DESCRIBED TINKERER BUILDS 427 CUBIC INCH V-8 GARAGE DOOR OPENER DeWayne Munge’s big block garage dooropener during construction “It’s a whole lot faster than our old Genie,that’s for sure.” Homeowner and tinkerer DeWayne Munge IF LEXUS DESIGNED THE… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
LOTUS THREATENS TO SUE OVER EBOLA NAME
Lotus cars is threatening to sue somebody, alleging misuse of the Ebola name for which they claim to hold a copyright. “Our previous models include the Evora, Elise, Exige and Esprit, and we wanted the Ebola name for… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
MARATHON ORGANIZERS APOLOGIZE FOR USING DIESEL OLDSMOBILE AS PACE CAR
Dozens of participants in last weekend’s Fight Against Polyps charity marathon complained of respiratory problems after they ran the entire race behind a 1982 Oldsmobile Cutlass diesel pace car. “It was horrible,” said disheveled runner Speckles Nord. “I… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
CAR SALES TO THE COLORBLIND BOOMING, ANALYST SAYS
Automakers released October sales numbers yesterday and there’s a lot to smile about. Numbers were significantly higher this October over a year ago, particularly among colorblind buyers. “We’ve been targeting the colorblind market for several years now and it’s… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
ELECTION DAY 2014 — PARKSPLUG RECOMMENDATIONS
Measure 1: Do you want to see a contraption like this?If not, vote YES. If yes, vote no. I think. Measure 1: Bans chicken wing sales at NASCAR race food booths. Insatiable demand for fried wings among fans… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
FEDS TARGET CLOWN CARS
The National Highway Transportation Safety Administration is cracking down on circus clown cars, noting that while such vehicles and the gaily-attired individuals crammed inside them indeed provide plenty of giggles and superb family entertainment, the agency is tasked… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
NISSAN, MAZDA TRY TO DUMP “CHICK CAR” IMAGE
“I’ve been told my Miata looks like Heather Locklear,” said proud owner Mindee Skifford “This is the kind of thing that keeps us up at night,” said somber Mazda spokesman Arche Harpalyke, after being shown the photograph of… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
SPIED! 2016 CADILLAC CIMARRON!
CHEVY CRUZE-BASED SMALL LUXURY SEDAN REPORTEDLY A YEAR AWAY Next-generation Cimarron by Cadillac caught on camera during testing. This car is equipped with the Brougham (pronounced “Brome”) package (“pak’-edge”), which includes an elegant vinyl roof cover in cotton ball white More than… Read More
Updated on November 5, 2015
HEADLINES OFF THE PARKSPLUG WIRES
ONLY 20-PERCENT OF DADS WHO THREATENED TO “TURN THIS CAR AROUND” ACTUALLY DID SO, RESEARCHERS SAY. Angry over repeatedly being left in the car,Bubbles, 3, took matters into her own paws, locking her owner inside the cargo area of the hatchback. Bubbles… Read More
