Award-winning Volvo S60 key

Fajita Mufferberg’s body writhed back and forth as she twisted the gold-colored key that was deeply inserted into her left ear.  “Oh…my…God,” she exclaimed, her eyes closed.  The key was for a 2014 Volvo S60 sedan, and for the third consecutive year, the Swedish car manufacturer won top honors in the “Best Key” category at the National Ear Pickers convention in Nashville.   Judges presented elated Volvo representatives with the coveted Golden Ear trophy, saying, “The key’s notches and grooves provide the most stimulating experience since Q-Tip discontinued their vibrating Q-Tickler model.”

Meantime, a half-dozen ear, nose and throat doctors picketed outside the convention center, one holding a large sign reading, “Nothing smaller than your elbow!”Hundreds of attendees waited in long lines at Volvo’s booth to get their hands on a free sample key. After her experience, Mufferberg, 32, of Alpaca, Wyoming, seemed dazed, and muttered, “I have to go sit down,” as Volvo staffers smiled and nodded.