MAN WHO TEASED NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS WITH ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC FOUND BLUDGEONED

Orgus Quibb

Police say a man who teased neighborhood children by installing a loudspeaker on his truck and driving around the neighborhood blaring “Turkey in the Straw” was found bludgeoned in a creekbed yesterday.  

Police spokesperson Cookie DeStephanipples said the man was identified as 37-year old Orgus Quibb, who lives nearby.  “He got beat up pretty good, but he’ll be okay,” said DeStephanipples.  “We found a bent wiffle bat nearby,” she added.

Neighbors felt little pity for Quibb.  “He got a kick out of playing the same song the ice cream man plays, and he laughed when all the kids ran outside with their ice cream money only to discover the music was coming from his old pickup instead of the ice cream truck,” said 80-year-old resident Rustolea Fitch. “He got what he deserved.”

Police have no suspects and a copyright violation is pending against Quibb for unauthorized use of “Turkey in the Straw.”