DRIVER AND HIS LAP DOG BOTH CITED FOR SPEEDING

A downtrodden Squirts Feezle shows the speeding ticket he received

Squirts Feezle will have his day in court.  The five-year-old Labrador Retriever mix and his owner, Curtis Feezle, were stopped by police early today and both were ticketed for speeding.  “Squirts was sitting on my lap.  We were probably going too fast,” Curtis acknowledged.  “But I don’t think both of us should have been cited. I was in the driver’s seat, but Squirts was driving, not me.  It’s too bad.  We had just gone to Petco to bark at cats and had a great time, but these citations really put a damper on the day.”

According to police officer Carver Starch, neither Curtis nor Squirts Feezle would admit to driving the car, which was allegedly traveling at nearly 50 miles per hour in a 35 zone.  “The dog was in the guy’s lap, but I wasn’t sure who was driving, so they both got tickets.  The judge will just have to sort it out.”