RESEARCH CONFIRMS THAT ALL THOSE IDIOTS ON THE ROAD REALLY ARE TRYING TO ANNOY YOU

Nettie Nordling, 87, pictured with her cat Mr. Squirts, admits she drives slowly just to irritate other drivers. She also enjoys tripping pedestrians with her cane.

A six-month study has confirmed what you believed all along:  You really are the best driver on the road and everyone else is trying their hardest to annoy you.

“You know those people who ‘accidentally’ cut you off?  Well, it’s not accidental–they’re trying to piss you off,” said Professor Rollie Spickles of the University of St. Uvalde, who conducted the research.  “They know you’re the superior driver…they’re just jealous.”

What about that 90-year old woman who putts along at 19 mph and you can’t get around her?  “According to our research, even the old folks do that on purpose just to annoy you.  They never drive that slow when no one else is around,” said Spickles.  When told of the study’s findings, most motorists were not surprised.  “I knew they were doing it on purpose,” said an exasperated Huck Sheetleman while shaking his head.