Subaru Confident Their New Three-Row Crossover Will Be Popular With Lesbians

Subaru’s new Ascent doesn’t go on sale until the middle of next year, but the company is already expressing confidence that, like its Outback and Forester stablemates, the seven-passenger crossover will be a big hit with lesbians.  

We didn’t have a photo of the new Ascent, but here’s a good one of a Subaru Domingo van pulling a fiberglass cow in a trailer.

“Oh yes, they’ll love it,” assured Subaru spokesman Robusto Hippogriff.  

When asked what specific features lesbians would find appealing, he replied, “Well, for starters, there’s electroluminescent gauge needles and a ski thing on top.”  






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