FORMER PALM READER SWITCHES TO STUDYING TIRE GROOVES

10 years ago, Gushie Blair left a successful career as a reptile cremation specialist to become a palm reader.  Now, she’s about to steer her career in yet another direction:  tire reading.

“It’s all about interpreting the character and lifespan of a tire,” Blair explained as she closed her eyes and gently caressed the tread of an LT255/75R17 BF Goodrich Mud Terrain TA tire in a mildly deviant yet admittedly alluring manner.

“This tire has a bright future.  See how wide and straight this is?” Blair asked, wiggling her index finger inside a groove in the center of the tire.  “That’s an indicator of a wonderfully strong inner chi, which provides stability and balance.  Just remember to rotate them regularly and pick the gravel out of the tread.”

The transition from palm to tire reading required several years of study and introspection, said Blair.  “I was fortunate enough to study under the preeminent guru at Tire Rack.”