Category: Uncategorized
Updated on July 25, 2021
Tesla Says Its New Roof-Mounted Lightning Rod Instantly Charges Battery
How quickly can the FastMast, Tesla’s innovative new roof-mounted lightning rod, charge the 90 kWh battery pack on a Model S? “In less than a second,” boasted Tesla engineer Adam Joules. In fact, Joules says the telescoping FastMast can safely handle… Read More
Updated on July 25, 2021
Nissan Leaf Beats Kenmore Top-Loading Washer As Best Electrical Appliance
If you’re in the market for a reliable electrical appliance, you might want to check out the latest issue of Consumer Reports. The experts there recently chose the Nissan Leaf over the Kenmore Elite 77981 top-load washer as “Best… Read More
Updated on July 25, 2021
Next Ford Expedition to Feature a “Who Farted?” Monitor
Few things are worse than someone passing gas while riding in a car filled with passengers. What IS worse, however, is not being able to identify the perpetrator, which makes it impossible to eject the rancid jackass on the side of the… Read More
Updated on March 1, 2017
COURTS: PEOPLE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER ALLOWED TO DRIVE IN CARPOOL LANE
Bundy Falk claims to have four alter egos (clockwise from upper left): Althea, Shevelle, Iris and Archibald Thanks to a recent court ruling, Bundy Falk can shred the dozens of carpool violation citations filling his desk drawer. … Read More
Updated on February 28, 2017
One-Third of American Drivers Can Honk Their Horns With Their Stomachs
39-year old Clover McPugh proudly demonstrates how she can honk her horn without using her hands At a news conference today, Surgeon General LuBelle Fooser urged Americans to get more exercise, saying that one-third of all U.S. drivers are… Read More
Updated on February 23, 2017
Tesla Reveals That Elon Musk Spent Customers’ Model 3 Deposits on “Chicks, Smokes and Rockets”
By some estimates, Tesla has received nearly $700-million in customer deposits for the upcoming Model 3 sedan, production of which is slated to begin this July. But last week, Tesla’s Chief Financial Officer said she discovered that… Read More
Posted on February 22, 2017
Why All BMW Sedans Look Alike
Automaker admits they’re all stretched 3-Series; Telescoping Body Panel Adds Additional Length In a news conference today, BMW acknowledged that 3, 5 and 7 series cars are really all the same vehicle, just different lengths. “Yes, it’s true,”… Read More
Posted on February 17, 2017
First Look! Toyota’s Upcoming Tacoma PostRunner Pickup
You probably already know that Toyota’s departed Tacoma PreRunner was named after a truck used by off-road racing teams to “pre-run” the course. And while it’s unlikely the PreRunner will make a return any time soon, Toyota will… Read More
Posted on February 16, 2017
Nissan Promises the Next-Gen QX80 SUV Will Be Even More Homely Than it is Now
Nissan today assured fans of the QX80 that the design of the next generation SUV will be at least as repugnant as today’s version. “People who like the current QX80 will really like this next one,” promised Nissan spokesperson Chiquita Fairbairn…. Read More
Updated on February 15, 2017
Local Woman Upset After Husband Gives Her a Set of Dick Cepeks For Valentine’s Day
Bubbles Plowhead sat on the curb and wept. “He could have gotten me flowers…I love flowers,” she blubbered. But instead, for Valentine’s Day, her husband Milo got her a set of Dick Cepek Extreme Country off-road tires… Read More
