Category: Uncategorized
Updated on January 26, 2018
DEALERSHIPS SAY SHORTAGE OF GIANT BOWS WILL HURT VALENTINE’S AUTO SALES
“This is my last giant bow,” lamented Mercedes dealer Jeasle Pinderhoof. “And it’s the wrong color for Valentine’s Day.” A shortage of giant, colorful bows has car dealers scrambling to find replacements just days before the big Valentine’s… Read More
Updated on January 22, 2018
BEING SLUMPED OVER THE WHEEL NO LONGER HAS TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE
INGENIOUS NEW STEERING WHEEL DESIGN CUSHIONS UNCONSCIOUS OR DECEASED DRIVERS WHO ARE SLUMPED OVER THE WHEEL Features of the Model 1055 steering wheel include a cushioned hub and rimless upper section “‘Slumped’ even sounds uncomfortable, doesn’t it?” Pigeon Stapleton asked… Read More
Posted on January 16, 2018
Ford Cancels Fusion GPS After Confusion Over Mueller Russia Investigation
Ford today announced they won’t be building the high-performance Fusion GPS sedan after all, citing “too much confusion over that damned Trump-Russia thing.” Ford’s Fusion GPS, equipped with the 3.5 liter Ecoboost V-6, reportedly delivered 365-horsepower and… Read More
Posted on January 12, 2018
Ford Teases 2019 Mustang Mullitt Intro at Detroit Auto Show
It’s been nearly a decade since the iconic Mustang Mullitt vanished from Ford’s lineup. But Ford released a photograph today teasing the introduction of the upcoming 2019 Mullitt at the Detroit Auto Show, which opens tomorrow — inexplicably… Read More
Posted on January 10, 2018
Your Deceased Pet Can Become Your Car’s New Hood Ornament!
Like most pet owners, Boboli Peterson considered her cat Guff to be a beloved member of the family. So after Guff died in a tragic Roomba crash in the foyer of Peterson’s home last fall, the Beaverdell… Read More
Updated on December 14, 2017
Vatican Admits: “We Should Have Ordered the Defroster” for New Popemobile
A large crowd struggles to see the Pope though foggy Popemobile windows “I couldn’t even tell if it was him. It looked like he was taking a steam bath.” Spectator Earlene DiNucci
Updated on December 8, 2017
Dealership Grief Counselor Helps Ease the Pain of Expensive Auto Repairs
Cupcake Nunchuk and her husband Chuck were concerned when the transmission in their five-year-old Land Rover began making unusual noises. “When I shifted into drive it would go sheeeeng–bap–dvvvvvvt–clunk,” explained Cupcake. “It also smelled like a burning goat,”… Read More
Posted on December 1, 2017
Subaru Confident Their New Three-Row Crossover Will Be Popular With Lesbians
Subaru’s new Ascent doesn’t go on sale until the middle of next year, but the company is already expressing confidence that, like its Outback and Forester stablemates, the seven-passenger crossover will be a big hit with lesbians. “Oh… Read More
Posted on November 28, 2017
Poll: 72% of People Under 30 Think “Pop the Clutch” Was a Character on Boardwalk Empire
Posted on November 9, 2017
Buyer of Original James Bond Car Complains It Has “Ejectile Dysfunction”
“It sucks. I paid $4.5 million only to find out it has ejectile dysfunction ,” complained buyer Crispin Crankshaw.
