Category: Uncategorized

HEADLINES WE DIDN’T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO PUT

GUY WHOSE IDEA IT WAS TO PAINT FIRE ENGINES LIME GREEN IS FINALLY DEAD Celebrations break out at thousands of fire stations across the country. AUTOMAKERS COMPLAIN ABOUT STARBUCKS’ NEW ONE-GALLON “TRENTA” CUP Starbucks Trenta cup pictured in… Read More

HIGHWAY DEPARTMENT TO PLACE DISCOUNT COUPONS INSIDE ROADKILL

The next time you spot a dead animal in the roadway, you might want to stop and pick it up rather than just drive on by.  That’s because highway department officials today announced a new plan to insert… Read More

AMID DECLINING MOTORCYCLE SALES, HARLEY-DAVIDSON FOCUSES ON FITNESS EQUIPMENT

Slim Bob Elliptical Trainer Harley-Davidson is an American manufacturing icon, but the motorcycle maker is still struggling to recover from the great recession.  ”We had to develop new products,” said marketing director Dorman “Pile Driver” Spootman while picking his… Read More

VOLVO WINS “BEST KEY TO PICK YOUR EAR WITH” AWARD FOR FOURTH YEAR IN A ROW

Award-winning Volvo S60 key Fajita Mufferberg’s body writhed back and forth as she twisted the gold-colored key that was deeply inserted into her left ear.  “Oh…my…God,” she exclaimed, her eyes closed.  The key was for a 2014 Volvo… Read More